Christmas Cracker Mottoes

It is a standing joke that the mottoes in crackers are unfunny, corny, and often very well-known, as the same jokes have been appearing in crackers for decades!

Assembled below is a selection of probably the best (or worst) Christmas Cracker mottoes. Do you remember the punchlines?

1	What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.	A coconut
2	What do you call a shortsighted dinosaur?	A do-you-think- he-saw-us!
3	What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it, you can always just use your hands?	A fork
4	What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool	Bob
5	What goes in long and stiff and comes out soft and sticky?	Chewing Gum
6	What do you call a man with a spade on his head?	Doug
7	What starts with F ends in UCK and causes a great deal of excitement?	Firetruck
8	What is great for protection and which you use your fingers to get off?	Gloves
9	What do you call a three-legged donkey	A wonky
10	What is round and hard, and sticks so far out of a man’s pyjamas that you could hang a hat on it?	His Head
11	What does a cow have four of, that a woman has only two of?	Legs
12	What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?	Lost
13	What p does a dog do that a man can step into?	Pants
14	What starts with a “p” and ends with “orn”, and is a major feature of the film industry?	Popcorn
15	What can a man do when standing up, that a woman can do sitting down and a dog does on three legs?	Shake Hands
16	What three-letter word starts with an “s,” ends with “x,” and has a vowel in the middle?	Six
17	What is a four-letter word ending in K that means intercourse?	Talk
18	On which side do chickens have the most feathers?	The outside
19	What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?	Toothpaste
20	When should you buy a bird?	When it’s going cheep